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Did you know that the daughter of the poet Lord Byron
 wrote the first computer program?

Google: Ada Byron, Lady Lovelace







IMTAL Members--See "Guidelines for Audience Participation"
 our contribution to the Winter '06 Newsletter





Below are two excerpts from a proposed gallery piece. 
 Please 
E Mail  for the complete script 
or to discuss your museum's specific needs















"Hi, I'm E Coli"









(Prior to the performance, Escherichia Coli strides
through a designated area of the museum.
He greets patrons, shaking hands and inviting them 
to come along with him.  He carries a large suitcase 
which has "E. Coli  We Travel and Multiply"
emblazoned on it's side He introduces himself)








ESCHERICHIA COLI






I'm Escherichia Coli, you can just call me E. That's me E Coli.



(He laughs when someone reacts negatively to his name or refuses to shake his hand.  He uses the phrases below in various combinations and also ad-libs encouraging folks to follow along.)




No no, my friends, I’m not the nasty one, that’s my cousin Entero. 



(or) Say, you haven’t seen my cousin Entero around anywhere have you. Oh he’s a nasty one.



Come along and I‘ll tell you all about him.  Oh the stories! He’s terrible really terrible. 
 


Me?  Why I’m one of the best friends you’ve got.  Don’t believe me? Well come along, come along, tell you all about it.  



You’re heading for the (whatever) area of the museum?  Don’t worry, you’ll get there. They don’t close ‘til (whatever) 



Won’t take up too much of your time.  You were going this way anyhow weren’t you?  
Sure you were.  



Here’s your chance folks, I pass this way but once....today (or whatever the schedule) 



Come along come along you can’t afford to miss this, not with cousin Entero lurking. Look out there he is!  Only kidding, but you can’t be too careful.  



You heard about the spinach (or outbreak du jour)  didn’t you? 



Anyone ever been sick? Stomach flu?  Ugh, then you need to hear this.



(He continues in this way until he reaches his performance area.  He sets his suitcase, title forward, on the pedestal and begins his spiel)



Gather round gather round.  Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls.  Meet Escherichia Coli...yes your’s truly, Escherichia of the Coli family of bacteria. Hello, how ya doin’.  Now, now I saw that look. I know a skeptical crowd when I see one, but I’m here to tell ya’...I am HERE to tell YOU that Escherichia Coli is one of the best friends you’ve got. O.K. O.K. don’t believe me, but I’m not talking about my cousin, Enterohemorrhagic Coli. He’s the bad one.  The one that’s been in all the papers, on the T.V. news.  We can talk about pathogenics like him if you want to.  But friends, there are at least 10,000 species of bacteria.  The Coli, we’re just one species and...well look you’re all members of a species, the human species.  That’s right isn’t it
 
 




		
		AUDIENCE
 





Yes. (Right)





		ESCHERICHIA COLI
 





And most humans are pretty nice folks aren’t they?
 






		AUDIENCE
 





Yes.
 





		ESCHERICHIA COLI
 





Well sure you are, and it’s the same for us bacteria.

	

(Breaks into a rhythm.  See.  “You Got Trouble My Friends,” 		from The Music Man)



Friends let me tell you what I mean, 

Most Bacteria’s good, it’s good for the world and it’s good for you.

I’m sayin’ Good.  Good with a capitol G 

And that rhymes with C and that stands for cheese.

Cheese my friends, sauerkraut, sour cream, vinegar too. 
 
All that’s made with the help of... you say it, you say it, who?






		ESCHERICHIA COLI and AUDIENCE
 





Bacteria.




		ESCHERICHIA COLI
 





You got it, you got it.

And Decomposition friends, Decomposition. 
 
Dead squirrels, dead birds, dead plants, dead trees

Think about it, think about it.

Someone’s got to clear away, break ‘em down, feed the soil.

Anybody here got a compost pile.?  All that old food back to the earth

Now Earth’s got an E and it rhymes with a B and that stands for...

	

	(Gestures to the AUDIENCE)







		AUDIENCE
 





Bacteria.




		ESCHERICHIA COLI
 





Very good, very good! Yes, my friends, the world would be a pretty big mess if it wasn’t for us. 
YOU would be in real trouble.  Don’t believe me?  All right, who had breakfast (or lunch) 
today?

 



		
		AUDIENCE
 






	(Raise hands)
 





		ESCHERICHIA COLI
 




Cereal ?(a sandwich?). Toast? (Chips?)


	(Approaches one child who looks open and eager)


You had cereal? (a sandwich?)





		AUDIENCE MEMBER




Yes.
	


	
		ESCHERICHIA COLI




What kind?
	


	
		AUDIENCE MEMBER




Cheerios (whatever)




		ESCHERICHIA COLI




Cheerios? (whatever) my favorite!  Now that cereal goes in your mouth and you chew it up.  Right?



	(Draws the AUDIENCE MEMBER into the stage area and 		illustrates by pointing to areas on his body)





Right, right, then it goes down to your stomach, churns around.  Churn, churn. then into your intestines, that’s where all the vitamins and proteins and stuff gets absorbed into your body to make all those good muscles and hair and teeth for more chewing and everything.  Now isn’t 
that right?

	


	
		AUDIENCE MEMBER





Right.

	


	
		ESCHERICHIA COLI





Well, my friend, (To general AUDIENCE) my friends...WHO do you think breaks down that food into all those vitamins and proteins and calciums and things....Who do you think?

	


	
		AUDIENCE





You. (or Bacteria)


	


	
		ESCHERICHIA COLI





Right, bacteria, E Coli Bacteria. Well, E Coli and a bunch of other species that live right there in your intestinal tract.  Anybody ever hear of Acidophilus? Lactobacillus Acidophilus?  They’re in there.  If you want more, eat yoghurt.   Oh, (To AUDIENCE MEMBER) Thanks, thanks for letting me use you...uh...your....thanks. 

	

(Sends AUDIENCE MEMBER back to his place) 


 Yep we’re in there looking out for your health.  We digest your food, we actually ADD vitamins to what your getting and if that isn’t enough, if  THAT isn’t enough...  My friends we take up all the space, so there’s no room for the bad guys! You may applaud.






*

*
 
*

*

*








		ESCHERICHIA COLI
 




Oh my friends I wish we didn’t have to talk about him, he gives the rest of us Coli such a bad name.  People getting sick, some people dying even.  Well, here he is.

	(Holds up a wanted poster)
 


E Coli 0157 dash H7. Enterohemorrhagic Coli. My cousin.  My evil, nasty pathogenic cousin.   Now some of Entero’s family just cause you to have cramps or  diarrhea. (To AUDIENCE reaction)  Well, that’s the correct word for it. Don’t look so shocked, you’ve all had it at one time or another. Not much fun is it?  Not a good thing, you lose a lot of water. Some advice from the guys inside: your body needs water, next time that happens, drink a lot of water. Well, O.K. so you feel sick for few days, not good.  But it’s worse if Enterohemorrhagic gets into you.  See the term “Entero” refers to your intestines but “hemorrhagic” that means bleeding. Enterohemorrhagic gets in there, he starts manufacturing this toxin, this poison, and this toxin starts breaking into all the little blood vessels.   Nasty, really nasty!  Little kids, old people, sometimes it’s just too much for them.  Not very often.  Enterohemorrhagic gets a lot of attention because he’s so nasty, but luckily he’s pretty rare.  Of course the trouble is...you think I like to travel. This guy.... Wait. He sends me postcards.

(He takes out of his suitcase a hand full of postcards.  He displays the pictures as he reads the back of each. Script		should be updated to reflect actual time of year and recent 		outbreaks)
 
	

September 3   “Inside this cow,”  Cows are great hosts, E Coli love them. “Inside this cow, heard they’re using the manure to fertilize some field, so will be moving on soon, love Enterohemorrhagic.”



September 12 Nice field, but weather rainy, running off into the river, will write again soon.
	

	
September 28 River overflowed, nice field of spinach.



October 1 Spinach picked and bagged.  On the way to the grocery store.  Somebody’s intestines here I come.  Can’t wait to get at those blood vessels.”





	(Shakes his head)
 
	

Oh, I got more. The family has been around for  awhile. First card I ever got was from a great Uncle, back in 1982: Dear Escher “Close call, they slaughtered my cow, but I jumped off into the hamburger.”  Hamburger was undercooked. People got sick.  



Here’s one from an Aunt, 1998:  “Dearest Eschie,  Always wanted to travel in milk so migrated to the cow’s udder,” if I don’t get pasteurized, I’ll be in touch.  


		
She didn’t get pasteurized, ended up in Wisconsin, in some cheese curds.  Pasteurization uses heat to kill the bacteria.  We’re a strong bunch, takes alot of heat. Be sure you’re drinking pasteurized milk and juice and cook meat 'til it’s brown all the way through and the juice is clear.  Did I mention Eggs. Yeah eggs. Anybody like to lick the cake pan?  

	


	
		AUDIENCE






(Raised hands)
 

		


	
		ESCHERICHIA COLI







Not a good idea, raw eggs.  Wait ‘til the cake’s baked.  Same goes for cookie dough. So who’re the cooks here?  Who likes to cook?
		


	
		AUDIENCE






(Raised hands)
 

	


	
		ESCHERICHIA COLI





I knew a bacterium once went on a very nice kitchen tour, came in on some raw chicken, and had a lovely time multiplying on the cutting board. Week later, some of the family caught a slice of tomato right into some kid.  Another bunch I knew traveled by knife from the rind of a watermelon right into the middle.  Some of them were pathogenic. Everybody at the picnic got sick. So what I’m trying to say here, if you don’t want your family to be on the tour, hot soap and water, antibacterial wipes, bleach. Use different boards and utensils for meat. And keep things in the fridge or the freezer.  Cold won’t kill us but it makes us (slows his speech) multiply ve-ry ve-ry slow-ly.   (Laughs) OH!  I also hear that flushing with the lid up is a great way to spread us around. Next time I get into someone’s toilet, I’m riding the water vapor straight for the toothbrush.  That would be a trip.  Which reminds me, it’s time I gotta get going.


	(Starts packing up his suitcase)
 
	


Now listen, one thing you really gotta do.  If you get sick, go to the doctor.  Sometimes Enterohemorrhagic and that gang can sneak up on you, you think you’ve just got the flu and bang.  (He slams down the lid)  But listen, if you’re taking antibiotics just remember that you might be killing off the good guys. Ask the doctor. Eat yoghurt. I think they even got pills.  So, anybody got questions?  

(He answers questions, refers people to exhibits or other 		sources of information. Maybe gives out samples of hand sanitizer)
 
	

That’s it?  Hey, it’s been a blast.  So who wants to give me a lift?

(He takes the arm of an AUDIENCE MEMBER and steers him/her away)
 
		

You going to the men's (ladies) room?  Hey, an elevator button.  I’m not particular.  
(Calling back) Everyone have a great day at the museum.  And don’t wash your hands while you’re here.  I got lot’s of friends who’d just love to go home with you.                                              
	


	
THE END






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